The Naughty List

Can I tell you something?

I’m not a huge fan of Christmas. Or any of the holidays which crowd the calendar toward the end of the year. That statement will come as no surprise to my Substack readers who’ve been regaled with stories of Christmas past in the Stromquist household and learned during an interview with God that Jesus was not an only child, and in fact born in May, not December.

Frankly, I find the so-called holiday season a time of enforced merriment and familial reunion when we’re reminded that blood is indeed thicker than water, but not nearly as thick as cranberry sauce. And a time of rampant commercialism and naked greed when we all pretend it’s better to give than receive, which all too often ends up being the case, but only because of bad gift giving rather than an abundance of tinsel-tinged philanthropy.

On the other hand, even though I’ve never bought anyone a BMW with a bow on it, I’m no Scrooge and actually rather generous with gift giving. I don’t consider myself a Grinch either because I take no overtly hostile actions to ruin the holiday, and make every effort to conceal my disdain for the proceedings with a wan smile. My attitude toward Christmas is basically the same as my appreciation of egg nog. I’m not crazy about it, but if booze is involved, I’ll do it.

But that’s not what I wanted to tell you.

The truth is I’m more spiritual and sentimental than you might think. Even sappy at times. Not It’s a Wonderful Life or Love Actually sappy, more like Elf or Bad Santa sappy.

But, while I don’t share my wife’s rabid enthusiasm for decorating and shopping and wrapping and listening to Jewel sing Joy to the World over and over and over again, I do feel what can only be described as Christmas spirit.

I count my blessings not by the quantity of presents under the tree but the quality of my friends. By that measure it’s going to be another good year and I’m extremely grateful.

One more reason I grudgingly admit to liking the holiday season is ushering in a new year and handing the old one its hat and coat and showing it the door. It’s a time to close another chapter in the book of our lives and to atone for past transgressions. But it’s also an exciting time when hope springs eternal even though we’re old enough to know better, to seize new opportunities, and to address areas of improvement in our lives and our midsections. It’s also a time to watch Anderson Cooper get blasted on national television, which in and of itself is reason to celebrate.

But what I really wanted to tell you is this.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your generous support. And thank you for reading my stuff. It means a lot to me. No doubt, you all hold a permanent spot on The Nice List. I love you, and whatever you celebrate this time of year, have a very Merry Christmas, or a Happy Hanukkah, or a Blessed Kwanzaa, or a Bitchin’ Boxing Day. Peace on Earth.

Thanks for listening. Talk soon.