Less is More

Author’s note: Today is my birthday so in celebration of that, this post is free to all. And if you’re wondering what I want for my birthday, it’s a short, simple list. I want more.

Can I tell you something?

When I have something I like, I want more. And unless money becomes an object, or my stomach is going to burst, or my liver threatens to quit its job, then I usually get it. This simple axiomatic rule applies to lots of things including, but not limited to, travel and recreation, arts and entertainment, food and beverage, and sex, although unlike the other categories of stuff I like, I have little or no control over how much more of that I get.

I am well aware of the adage that ‘less is more’, and that’s a nice thought, but it was coined originally to apply to architectural design and frankly I think that’s where it should stay.

Taco Bell comes up with new menu items from time to time which would benefit from the less-is-more philosophy, but aside from that, I’m a firm believer that if something is good then more is better than less, and as a card-carrying member of the human race I suppose that makes me more or less normal.

You can argue that wanting more stuff you like is human nature, which I just did, and there are plenty of for-profit companies which have realized spectacular success based on that assumption. There are also countless examples of consumer goods which gained popularity then gradually became available in larger and larger sizes until it was no longer possible to carry or consume them without assistance. And that in turn required a new generation of so-called “big box” stores to sell them using flatbed trucks instead of shopping carts.

The impulse to want more is of course not limited to goods but also applies to services and nowadays it is no longer adequate to simply watch TV, we must binge watch multiple episodes in a single sitting to satisfy our craving for silly situation comedies and gruesome forensic crime dramas. That’s if you’ve bundled all the streaming services.

But that’s not what I wanted to tell you.

The problem is that all this craving for more and bigger and better doesn’t seem to satisfy us. A famous British historian who nobody’s ever heard of, the haughtily named C. Northcote Parkinson, once observed that “a luxury once enjoyed becomes a necessity.”

Worse yet, craving something bigger and better only creates the desire for even more stuff that is somehow even bigger and better. I’ll grant you we occasionally want things that are smaller because it’s better, but aside from computer microchips and hearing aids I can’t think of a single example.

This is not my work – apologies to whomever thought of it first – but we could postulate that satisfaction equals getting what we want when we want it. That would suggest solving the equation is as easy as adding two plus two, but the truth is satisfaction derived by getting what we want when we want it must then be divided by what we want but don’t have. Which gets into advanced algebra and possibly even trigonometry. And if you always want more than you have, then the extrapolated equation becomes incredibly complex and virtually unsolvable unless you took integral calculus in college and thoroughly understood it – I did, and I didn’t – or you just stop wanting things.

Okay, forget the math quiz and put away the slide rule, let’s ask the question why is more never enough?

I know there are billions of humans living on planet Earth who don’t have the luxury of whining about not having enough rooms in their house, or cars in their garage, or bandwidth in their phones, or shoes, or suits, or shiny objects, or sesame oil on their shabu shabu.

But why is it those of us fortunate to live above the poverty line in the richest country on Earth just can’t seem to get enough to be happy? What is so damn important about having more, more, more?

Why are we never satisfied, or more to the point why are we never satisfied for very long? Where is the damn happy place, and why aren’t we there yet? I’m no student let alone a master of the science involved, but I did Google it and evidently the problem simply put is we are hard-wired to find safety and stability in life and that just isn’t a whole lot of fun. Therefore, in an effort to not be bored, or boring to others including family and friends, or prospective bosses and mates, we seek wealth and status and pleasure.

And what’s so bad about that, you ask?

Nothing, except every time we get that big bonus, or pat on the back, or jolt of endorphins, we need something more to get happy again. It’s like the old George Carlin joke, “I love cocaine. When I do a couple of lines I feel like a new man. The problem is the first thing the new man wants is a couple more lines.”

So continuing with the pop quiz, is life nothing more than a drug addiction? Are we doomed to seek self-gratification and the endless pursuit of things that make us feel good? Do we objectify ourselves and others by equating success and happiness with fit bodies, prestigious jobs, fat bank accounts, and fun toys? Why can’t we equate them with who we are, instead of what we look like, or what we do for a living, or what we own? Why can’t we be happy with what we have, especially since not that long ago it was at the top of the list of what we want? What’s so wrong with last year’s iPhone?

Buddhism says that life is suffering, and the cause of that suffering is craving, desire, and attachment to worldly things. Ancient Chinese philosopher Zhuang Zhou described happiness succinctly as the ‘absence of striving for happiness.’

So, is faith the answer? For some people it is, but many who sublimate all their earthly desire for wealth, status and pleasure don’t act all that satisfied. And isn’t a belief in heaven and an afterlife really the most extreme example of wanting more? What if floating around on Cloud Nine strumming a harp for all of eternity doesn’t make you happy? What then?

Please submit your answers in writing and show your work.

Religious dogma likes to paint things in black and white, right and wrong, now and never. It’s what those religious dogs do. I’m not anti-religion per se, and forgive the secular homily, but for me the picture of life is more like an impressionist painting, if not a Picasso at times. I believe managing what we want is the key to happiness but denying desire is not only unrealistic but likely the key to unhappiness.

Quitting the ‘I want more’ habit cold turkey is not only dangerous because of the severe withdrawal symptoms but also likely to fail and put you right back on the proverbial hedonic treadmill.

Which brings me to what I really wanted to tell you.

Many years ago, my wife and I were in Puerto Vallarta, and I was attempting to metabolize tequila from the previous night to make room for more by working out in the hotel’s Sala de Ejercicios. I was still a runner at the time, so I chose one of the two treadmills for my sweat, despite the fact that I’d never been on one in my life. Halfway through the workout a beautiful señorita in extremely form-fitting gym attire came in and hopped on the machine next to me. As I nodded suavely in her direction, I noticed she was running at ‘7’ and looking down saw I was chugging along at ‘6’. Obviously, that wouldn’t do, so I bumped my pace up to ‘8’ and ran uncomfortably fast for the remaining twenty minutes of my session.

What happened next is still embarrassing to this day but also illustrative of the point I’m trying to make. Having no experience with treadmills, and evidently having forgotten even the most basic laws of physics taught to me in high school, I stepped off the machine immediately after stopping without having bothered to gradually slow the pace.

Just as I remembered something about forward momentum, I plunged face first into the floor-to-ceiling mirrors and crumpled to the ground in a heap. I quickly regrouped and fired off a few push-ups to create the impression it was simply the next phase of my workout but that did nothing to stop the audible snickering en Espanol.

Later that evening, after a couple shots of tequila, I was able to laugh it off, but the moral of the story stuck. You don’t just get off the treadmill without slowing down first.

And you don’t just stop wanting things.

It’s a slow process learning to love what you already have, and it’s still a work in progress for me. Besides, there are some things that are worth wanting more of. Famous fashionista and American icon, Iris Apfel, said it best of all. “More is more and less is a bore.” Now excuse me, I’m going to get another shot of tequila and some more Doritos.

Thanks for listening. Talk soon.