I’m Just a Caveman
Can I tell you something?
Most Caucasian humans, which I am a near approximation of, have somewhere between one and three percent Neanderthal DNA. Anthropologists tell us it’s because there’s stuff in there still useful to the human genome, such as development of the digestive and immune systems, and also the brain. The last part seems counterintuitive, but I suppose it’s the reason we have such an appetite for things like monster trucks, blooper reels, and deep-fried Twinkies. Native Africans, on the other hand, have zero Neanderthal DNA, and while it’s tempting to point to this discrepancy as the root cause of systemic racism, it more likely explains that they developed fine without it and we just like oversized trucks and Twinkies. Anthropologists also tell us Neanderthals may have gone extinct because they mated with Homo Sapiens, which doesn’t reflect well on us and is certainly a cautionary tale for people who hook up online.
But that’s not what I wanted to tell you.