Can I tell you something?
I don’t have a cell phone. Yes, I can afford one, and no I didn’t drop it in the toilet or fall off a cliff taking a selfie. I don’t have one. More on that later, but I can tell you right now I’m suffering from a nasty case of technological and social whiplash. One that may require a neck brace for me to get well, or at least earn the sympathy of a jury when I sue the bastard who rear-ended me.